it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
