I'm going to jail i love you
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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