i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
