You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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