So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
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