Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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