i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I wish you could order shots online.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
