No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
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