As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
