i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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