And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
