wanna go halves on a baby?
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
