At least make sure they are 18
Why
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
