i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
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