hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
