I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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