I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Randomize
