he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize