I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
