You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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