some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
