Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
