i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
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