I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
