Screwed.edu
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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