didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
hell yes lets make some ravioli
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
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