Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
