she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
