Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
