He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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