Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
are you so shy because you have an std?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
