i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
