didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
