You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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