Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
