You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
