so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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