even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I can't turn off my feet"
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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