We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
