i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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