Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Holy shit dude........stairs
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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