I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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