im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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