He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
