I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
