You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
