try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
