your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
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