I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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