Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
