Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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