I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
