and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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