I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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