When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
