I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
