Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
