My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
