he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize