Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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