Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
