So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
