Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
