a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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