girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
