We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
