so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
