you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
