Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
