C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
