He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
